25 days..give or take

Soon my location on my elctronic devices will read “Redding,CA”. This thought strikes me as I wonder exactly how things will work out.

Being completely honest, right now I feel discouraged and not very brave. Yet I know the call and in the very least a part of the purpose He has called me to.

I think that’s scarier then not knowing. Some form of expectation comes in and you have a choice in your response..

“God I trust you.”

Its all I have right now with an immediate need of about 4000.00

That is not even the missions trip. This whole trusting God thing is hard, because you have to give up control completely and do what he says. Thank God that He is with me, because without Him I would feel lonely and scared instead of just scared.

Trusting Him, entirely.


Faith, Hope and Love

Today was the first day in a long time that I felt love and acceptance. It was the first time someone else, besides me told me straight up that I was doing the right thing. Funny, its not about California or Bethel which are both great things..its about obedience. I think I have talked about this before but today something awesome came out of pain.

First of all, I am blessed beyond measure to have friends who deal with me very honestly. I have people who really love me and want me to do well. This is a new thing, and without explaining well let’s just say they know me pretty well.

As I’m talking to my pastor today he reminded me of acouple of things. Painful things. The truth hurts but heals us.. in placing my children it may or may not have been “abandonment” both situations are tough to explain, but the point is I’m forgiven..and it was time to forgive myself.

A great prayer/cry later, I stood up feeling freer then I have in weeks. Its amazing, really when you stand up, take responsibility and say “the past is the past..I’m moving forward”. Even better is becoming a little more free and finally coming to a place where you are walking out the freedom that the Lord so freely gave.

I, like everyone else am growing and doing. Life isn’t easy but its worth it. Its like nothing else with God. With God, all things are possible–finances for the journey, and beyond, healing..even making painful truths turn into healing salve and unknowingly setting someone free from the chains of a bondage that held someone back.

35 days. I need help. Desperately..prayer, encouragement…partner with me in faith as I walk in obedience to His call on my life. Stepping out into the great wide world, in 35 days. Wow! I am telling work this week, and writing a letter to my uncle to tell him. I’m afraid, yes, but if I have to do this afraid so be it.

I am done listening to the lies of the enamy. Time to stand, to kneel, to pray til I lose my voice.

It is time to fight and this woman is not giving in. Whatever your dream is, pursue it with God…all things. ALL things are possible to those that believe!

Agreeing with all of you for your own life/dreams/healing!


The small moments

Tonight I shared with mentorship where I was going. Not a big deal right? Wrong. I have been feeling so discouraged yet as I was surrounded in prayer I felt the love of God fill the room, and was like nothing like I have ever received before.

I am so blessed beyond measure. God has done so much in my life. All because of His unshakable unmovable love for me. I used to feel so alone and scared. Meeting people freaked me out. Anxiety and depression had a stronghold I couldn’t shake. Not until I let Jesus take control. He is my healer and my passion.

Lately God has really been speaking to me on praying specific things. As the father has revealed his heart for me I have longed to see the plan He made come true for me.

Nothing else matters. He never fails, never leaves, never abandons…the love and favor He bestows are gifts of grace. I am so excited as I watch Him move and change evrything around me and in many other peoples lives.

This may sound silly but I really love Jesus. I want to be an expression of His love, and lead others to Him. So many thoughts, but for the first time in weeks, I am going to sleep mostly pain free. Cause that’s my Jesus..healer, redeemer, and best friend.

Goodnight to you all 🙂


Where I’m at

Hello to my few and far between readers. I am aware that many of you might not feel 100% about donating your hard earned cash to tuition (need $2880 yet) but there are other ways you can help if you choose to.

And just to be clear, it is a choice. Prayer is soo important to me as I prepare to venture out, and it is something I value above money though financial gifts are deeply appreciated. With finances you plant a seed and I do feel God has been very clear with me about what the seed will become..it will be souls saved, lives set free of bondage and addiction. It will change lives.

Its not just about me. Its about everyone I will meet. Every life I get to reach for Him who gave all. I want for nothing less the His call.

I have a lot of thoughts on my mind today, as time is getting closer to my leave date of August 26. On that note, if you feel led to put towards my train ticket (approx 193 possibly more now) leaving from chicago to Redding, it would be deeply appreciated. Other costs are mailing boxes out to me. I will be the first to admit I have no idea how this works but I know that even selling whatever he tells me, I still have to have some things like clothes and family memory books etc sent out. If any of the above speak to you, email me or comment on my blog. Any and all help is appreciated. And I am willing to work in exchange when I am free.

Other things I have as costs are specifically for the cost of rent. I would like to have 2 months rent saved- approx 600. While I will be looking for work, I am fully aware that finding a job might take time. I have faith though that I will get a job at the right place that will work with my school scedhule.

Besides all that.. I am grateful to those who have pledged or given already. This is going to be incredible, and I am excited beyond belief for the chance to follow the Lords call on my life.

Have a blessed day!


It has been a busy few weeks. Ever feel like you’re at an all you can eat buffet and your plate is so full you can’t possibly hold anymore?

Yeah that’s me. This has been a crazy season of my life, and it barely has begun. Tuition is down to $2880 owed, which is amazing. The cost of everything else is still where it was, with added costs.

Good news though I have a spot for a garage sale. My stuff is not in bad condition. I will have a lot of household stuff along with clothes and sell water or something like that. Maybe I will make lemonade the way I like it (oranges,limes,lemons and strawberries sliced up and made in regular lemonade mix…its super yummy.)

Along with 73 others I will be graduating from Life School of the bible. It is amazing to me that 2 years have flown by so quickly.

I have life to get back to but I will continue to keep you updated as time draws closer.

Much love ,



I keep going back and forth, editing and reconfiguring how I wanted to express this thought that I really felt God speak to me. Bear with me as I continue to dig more out of this and edit it to death, lol.

(Isaiah 55:8-11)

“for My thoughts are not your thoughts neither are My ways says the Lord…”

God is limitless and through Jesus we have access to partner with our Creator that which pleases and purposes, bringing glory and honor and praise to His glory as He works through us-

Philipians 4:13 says we can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens us.

Christ was 100% God and 100% man. He did not operate as God on earth, but operated as the Son operating on earth submitted to the voice of God, under the power of the Holy Spirit (the spirit of God).

Isaiah 55:10 says so as the snow and rain come down and water the earth and make it spring forth he provides seed for the summer and bread for the eater..

All things come from above from God and when God who is limitless in a bounty in love and faithfulness plus the resources of heaven (limitless resorces which we have access to as children of God).

Romans 8:15 says we are adopted, heirs of Christ therefore we have no reason to lack.

He makes a way and all we have to do was walk in His promises and trust God and do as he speaks to our spirits.

This is our Father in Heaven our Savior, our friend, our Father- this is Jehovah Jirah who places us into the places he calls us and as we yeild and submit to his glorious call on our lives HE provides.

I could tell you testimonies of him working as I have decided to have faith in the words He has given me time and again. The God of heaven and earth has a purpose for each of us as we step forward.

Faith is the key and we simply have to extend our faith to partner with who God has proven himself to be. Dig in deeper, and start seeking God for your own dreams today. This is a season of dreams and testimonies and supernatural provision. God makes a way, not us. Rely, lean, trust and call on him like you never have before and watch Him move.
Trusting Him…

Love you all,